Guess who’s back? Back again. Cassie’s back, tell a friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah I’ve been preaching about consistency left and right but haven’t really been holding up to my half of the bargain. So in the next few weeks, the rest of 2018 to be exact, I will be posting two times a week and keep up with engagement on my social media sites. But it’s a perfect segway into one of my 30 things I’ve learned before thirty posts, not being so hard on yourself.
So I’ve been M.I.A for over a month for a multitude for reasons. I had an out of town meeting where I was offered a transfer. The move made sense for my life so I took it. Which in turn caused a whirl wind of finding an apartment, moving, telling my team, meeting my new team, and building the store up in time for Black Friday (which is this week.) I’m not complaining by any means, this has been a wonderful and not as stressful as I expected experience.
I have decided to make a calendar for planning out my posts, at least one a few weeks out so that I can post weekly, and on time. Blogging isn’t as huge a time commitment, or at least not as big as I’m making it, so right now its just about making the time especially if it’s important to me. And you, the reader, are important to me! I want to work on my writing, my photography, my editing and everything in between. So I will always make time for you.
Onto the post! Not being to hard on yourself. What does that mean? I think that to me it means that I shouldn’t beat myself up if I don’t stick to one of my personal commitments, or at least speak nicely to myself even when I’m frustrated. So why has it taken so long to teach myself this, or at least enact upon it? I think it’s easier to bad mouth yourself than take ownership for mistakes, or make a plan in order to fix them. I get annoyed with myself about not writing. Not even just blog posts, but the stories that dance around my head.
I think that I’ve mentioned before that I struggle with writers block. Problem is that I don’t force myself to sit down and write. Also, I don’t make plans in order to get further than an outline or some character development. Yet I yearn to be a writer, to make a name for myself and have others enjoy my writing on a bigger scale. I stall and stress over writing because I’m scared. I’m scared about how people will react to my work, because I am my own worst critic. So another reason to not be so hard on myself.
I can tell you that you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, and leave it at that but how do you actually break that habit? Changing your own reaction to the behavior. Frustrated? Find the positives instead. The other day I was stressing about several things: moving and money mostly.
I realized, my boyfriend and his family were moving me, we were going to be able to pay all our bills we just had to submit them, and work would be rough but I would get through it. An immense sense of calm literally felt like it was crashing over me. I felt the tension in my shoulders loosen and the tense way I was holding my expression disappeared as well. Now not every time do I feel such an powerful feeling when I speak kinder to myself and rationalize but this one felt exceptional.
I also realize that I still talk negatively and I’m hard on myself daily. It’s not going to change or disappear over night. But when you realize that those are just additional roadblocks on your way to success, then you let it go. I find myself being hard on myself and then admonish myself for speaking that way and that can be a bit of a cycle. I’ll then look up quotes on my Pinterest that help to alleviate those thoughts that are my own.
So can I make the promise that I’m going to show up for my post on Thursday? No I can’t make that promise, because then if I don’t achieve it, I’ll be hard on myself. Working Thanksgiving, I’d probably just beat myself up the whole shift, write something quickly then post at 1 a.m. Planning for the best, prepared for the inevitable. That may sound a little Debbie downer, but it’s more realistic and less stressful. What have you guys learned in this time before your thirties? Or even after your thirties, have you discovered things that you wish wouldn’t have taken you as long? Leave a comment below.