But it’s not January . . .
I know, I know, having a resolutions post in late July probably sounds crazy! But bear with me, this post may seem a bit more personal/ serious than maybe even I thought I’d write as a blog post. I’ve really been in my own headspace lately though so instead of a well planned out post that I wrote three months ago, I’ve decided to switch things up and write from the heart. So here goes.
I know the last post I mentioned that I’m not great with consistency. That’s clearly an opportunity for me; even this week I’m only getting one post out. I also mentioned that I had been doing a lot of research for personal development as well as for business development. Something that I’ve learned in this Internet rabbit hole that I’ve seemed to find is that there is plenty of catch phrases that people use to motivate themselves. One that I’m trying to take to heart with my writing (and everyday life) is this: Done is better than perfect.
No One’s Perfect
I know everyone is always striving for perfection but few if any ever achieve it. So what makes me so special in wanting everything to be perfect all the time? Nothing. So why do I let myself get so worked up / stressed out / irresponsibly take it out on people I love? I think that that’s where my reflection piece of this post comes in. I was always one of those kids that thought you had to meet all the age “mile” markers to go through life. Get your permit at 14, get your license at 16, graduate and go to college at 18, etc. Then I set unrealistic expectations for my life after college like getting married and popping out babies before 26.
Here I am, a year away from 30, and that hasn’t happened. At 26/27 that seemed heartbreaking. Why weren’t things going according to plan? Why was I so alone? Why???? I’m in a relationship now and I’ve tried to not put any of those expectation stressors on it, which I may have done in the past. That has clearly led to a healthier relationship than any I’ve had in the past.
Always the Bridesmaid
But that wasn’t the only reflection that I’ve had recently. Probably the biggest one was another expectation I had put on myself. All through my life I had/ have always felt like I’ve been second best. Always on Junior Varsity teams through out my life and couldn’t quite cut it for varsity. That was such a frustration for me since I give it my all in everything I did.
Then when I couldn’t sleep one night last week it hit me. I was “the best” at certain things in my life. Even though I was JV dance team in high school, I was CAPTAIN of that team. I was captain of the varsity bowling team and the tennis team. I was dance captain of the JV show choir. I know I’m over a decade out from high school but I definitely let that color my own self worth for a very long time. I was literally thinking “You are always second best,” and that is such a toxic thought space to be in for so long.
So now we come to the resolutions part of the post. Besides lacing consistency in my life, I’m also the type of person with half-baked or half started projects. I have a lot of goals and motivation but sometimes that dries up and I lose sight of what I had going on. So instead of being “second best” in my own side hustles I’m forming a plan, a resolution you could say, to finish my 100 projects I have started.
Starting today, I’m going to begin finishing one project a month for the next year, no ifs ands or buts. That probably sounds like a lofty goal with a low percentage of achieving that goal, but that’s the kind of thought process that I don’t need in my life anymore. Everyday I’m going to dedicate 4 hours of time to finishing a project. #1 This will help with my consistency. #2 FINISHED PROJECTS. I think I’m going to need to staple a paper with the words “DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT” on my head for the next year though.
Before I finish this post, I thought I’d mention some research I’ve been doing to understand myself and my reflections / resolutions a little bit better. I think that sometimes when I write these blog posts, I want to make them quick and easy reads without a lot of substance. I want to use this blog to let others get to know the real me, not just an easy blurb. So here come my Meyers-Briggs personality test results. Dun, da-da dun! INFJ.
So what does that have to do with anything? I think that has to do with everything! It’s helped me realize my anxiety is just how I use to lash out against things that make me uncomfortable or stressed out and that I need to rein it in. So how do I do that? This week has been one of meditation and self-care. Not getting down on myself or pushing myself too hard when my day job leaves me exhausted. Also a lot of facemasks while listening to 10-minute meditations on YouTube.
How have you used any self-reflection to move you forward? And how do you guys maintain motivation? Maybe that’s a subject I need to do more research on too.