So I think that I’ve been very honest and vulnerable in many of my blog posts already, but this one might be the scariest one yet. This post is about a book, a podcast, an inspiring woman, and the lies that we tell ourselves. I find myself lying to myself at least once a day. So what does that look like? “oh, you won’t be too tired after work. Oh, stay up a little later and get that done cause you’re more productive at night. Oh, you don’t have time to moisturize.” Sometimes a silly lie, other times more impactful. So how does this relate into an inspiration post? Let me tell you about a book I just read.
Girl, Wash Your Face
That’s the title of the book! Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis has proved to be a life guide on the lies we tell ourselves. Its format is an anecdotal accounting of instances where the writer has overcame or developed ‘fixes’ to help combat the lies. It drives home the point that we can be our own worst critic to the point of detriment. But before I get into my biggest take aways from the book, let me tell you how I found Mrs. Rachel Hollis.
So clearly I devour different forms of self-help/ motivation in the droves, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I was introduced to this book + the creator by a podcast. Rachel was on one of my favorite shows that I’ve covered before, The Goaldigger Podcast. The podcast they were doing together was “Writing a Book 101,” obviously right up my alley. She gave some really great advice, (seriously check out the episode # 146) but also reminded us not to take outside criticism too harshly. This seemed to resonate with me, especially after reading her book. It seems that we each have enough self-hate when it comes to our passions that we can’t look at the negativity coming at us as well.
After finding her on that podcast, I found that she also has one of her own; the RISE podcast. There you can get more what feels like one-on-one advice as well as get snippets from her book. Besides having written Girl, Wash Your Face, she also has a series of short fiction books available on amazon. Obviously I read them. Think Sex and the City but with MORE girlboss.
The Lies We Tell
Going back to the book, I’m going to review three of its chapters and tell you why they really stuck with me. I don’t want this to take away from the book itself, but I want you to grasp why I think these lessons can be important for everyone. Also I’m not afraid to call myself out on some of my shit.
Chapter three is about not being good enough. I have honestly probably thought this every single day at least once for my entire life. I don’t think this is a lack of self-confidence issue, I just think that our inner critic can rear its ugly head in very simple ways sometimes. “I’m not good enough” whether it’s at work, at cooking, at driving, etc. You can feel ‘not good enough’ at literally anything you do. Besides writing, there are moments in my day job where I feel like I’m not in the right position or someone else would have done what I did differently. I think that when you interact with the public, if its customers or with my associates themselves that can be the hardest part of the job. But after having done it for several years with a few promotions, I’m clearly good enough.
I think I feel less than good enough when it comes to my writing especially. I second-guess myself; I edit as I go, and its always 2 steps forward 3 steps back. That’s why I’m doing different challenges, thinking about adding my fiction on here, and putting myself out there in ways I wouldn’t have 2 years ago. I disappoint myself every day but I’m also proud of myself everyday. I think that those are feelings that I try to reflect on, and then move forward.
This one really hits me hard with my personal life, the “I should be farther along in life” chapter. I had very grandiose visions of myself in my younger days. I wanted to get married and have kids and a house and a career I found satisfying by the age of 24. HA. Here I am, a year removed from 30 and my life looks way different than that. And that’s okay. I particularly feel this really hard when I’m reminded that I don’t have kids. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before, but being a mom is truly the one thing I want most out of life. And I’m constantly reminding myself that its okay that I don’t have any yet. That it’s not too late.
I think goals or dreams like that are really hard to have. They are wonderful things to aim for, but it can also be a goal that is reliant on other people. I didn’t find the right guy that I wanted to settle down with and raise those kids with for 18+ years. I didn’t and still haven’t settled and I think that’s something to be proud of in itself. I haven’t sacrificed my self or my self-worth in order to achieve those dreams.
This one reminded me most of the podcast that she did for Jenna Kutcher. It’s all about feeling like a terrible writer. Clearly I can relate to this with the amount of self-depreciating humor that I’ve used in several blog posts; but let me tell you where I think that stems from. Besides directly linking my creative endeavors with my self-confidence; I have let people close to me color my own perception of myself. I think that that can be easy to do especially when it’s a constant “that sucks, you can do better, what a joke” kind of mentality.
So besides cutting those toxic people out of my life, I’m just going to carry on like I don’t see the negative comments. I’m going to practice some positive devotions so that even the negative self-talk isn’t as loud as it usually is. I’m going to take constructive criticism with a grain of salt. And I’m going to keep moving forward.
If you have read Rachel Hollis’s book and want to chat leave a comment below! Also I’m very responsive on twitter so if you have any other book recommendations/podcasts find me there. And remember, stop lying to yourself!